Sexuality After Cancer

“Not tonight, I have a headache” is often the phrase referred to indicate no interest in sex. While the headache may not always be real, it represents the hierarchy of where our sexual lives fall in the scheme of life. And it is low. Fatigue, stress, illness, financial or relationship issues, mobility issues and yes, headaches take a higher priority than sex. Sometimes the sexual health issues are there prior to illness and the illness magnifies them.

So with a cancer diagnosis, fatigue, fear, treatment effects, and relationships can be stressed. If you cannot work and depended on that income, it is an added stress. Insurance co-pays or no insurance increases that burden. Sex is not at the forefront of your mind. In addition, your partner is feeling it too. Worried about you. Worried about finances. Worried that they might hurt you. Or even worried that they gave you the cancer. Again, all of these factors contribute to low desire (libido).

The physical side effects of treatment may lead to vaginal dryness and thus painful intercourse. This may happen if treatment made you menopausal (periods stopped), if you received radiation in the pelvic area such as with gynecological, urologic or colon cancers, or if you underwent surgery in the area. For men, prostate cancer surgery may impact the ability to have an erection and cause incontinence (urine loss).

If you have had surgery, or other treatment your mobility may be affected too. Hip or back pain may limit the ability to enjoy a sexual relationship.

There are options for managing these issues that can be explored. These include hormone treatments, over the counter options, therapy with a licensed sex therapist (individual or couples), pelvic floor physical therapy, general physical therapy, dilators and more.

If you are feeling overwhelmed and your sexual health is affected, please discuss with your doctor.