Words are Important!
Words are important! Most of us don’t realize how significant words like “if”, “when”, “and “maybe” are when experiencing a life threatening diagnosis. “Never” and “always” are also words that are used freely, but for a person with cancer, those are the only words they hear. It’s like they are shouted in a sentence.
What you say is important! We have to be careful with our choices of words when talking to patients. We have to be honest of course. But there are ways of presenting the same information. even bad news, in a comforting, sensitive way. And while we can spew statistics, the individual’s prognosis is 0 or 100%. If the 5-year survival is 10%, for that individual it will still be 0 or 100%. But, even though 10% is low, it still means that 10 out of 100 people with their condition will survive. Note: survival statistics are generally based on 5 years. Not a high rate, but why can’t they be among those 10 out of 100? Sometimes we don’t even realize the impact of our words. I had a patient who presented needing clearance for a bone marrow transplant. Protocol required that a mammogram and Pap smear be done (and normal) to proceed. She was VERY sick. She had significant difficulty breathing and was very weak. I completed the exam and as I always did at the end, I said “We’ll have results in a couple of days and I’ll see you next year”. I left the room and recall telling my nurse that I really wasn’t sure I’d see her again. That’s how sick she was. FF a year. I see her name on my schedule. I walked into the exam room and saw a beautiful picture of a healthy woman. She asked if I remembered her. I said of course. She then said that I saved her life. Thinking she might have confused me with one of the many other doctors treating her, I said “You know I’m the gynecologist?” She said “Yes. But you told me you would see me in a year and I lived by those words.“ I know it’s the treatment that saved her. And I know we always tell patients to have a positive attitude. Whether you believe that a positive outlook contributes to treatment success or not, we can all agree that hope makes the journey easier and less depressing. My words kept her going. People grasp onto whatever they can to be able to have hope.
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